Creative Commons License

I can honestly say that this was something that I’d never thought about, much less thought I’d actually have to tell people.  Yet as soon as it was brought to my attention, I IMMEDIATELY had to write about it.  I didn’t think this had to be said, but obviously it does. 

Brides. Do NOT invite people to your engagement, bridal shower or bachelorette party that aren’t invited to the wedding!  Can we say, AWKWARD??  

I’m sure – or at least I hope – you mean well.  In certain circumstances – destination or teeny wedding – it’s perfectly okay.  But otherwise, it’s just rude.  

First, you are putting the pre-festivities only invitee in an extremely uncomfortable position.   Do they go and hope that nobody talks about the wedding (like that’s going to happen) so they’re not outed as un-invited?  Or do they graciously decline only to worry what your mutual friends are thinking about the lack of appearance?  

Next, we have the message that you’re sending.  You may not mean it, but the gesture says, “I think just enough of you to take your gift or party for a bit, but you don’t mean enough to have at the real celebration.” 

Now is this really the message you want to send?  

If you have a friend that you want to spend some time with but for whatever reason aren’t inviting to your wedding, then please, PLEASE do NOT invite her to pre-wedding events.  Take her to lunch or coffee or happy hour or brunch or some other non-wedding related, non-awkward activity.  You’ll both feel better for it.

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