Dear Abby’s column was brought to my attention this morning.  A column regarding leaving a reception before eating due to wait time for dinner and the volume of the DJ’s music created a  firestorm of bad wedding experience responses.   Here’s how I see it: 

In general, most people don’t like attending weddings unless it’s that of a close friend.  It’s OK to admit this.  We’re all friends here.  As many times as I’ve seen people looking bored in a corner (and you have too.  Perhaps you were that person?) we all know it’s true.

Brides – Have some thought to your guests’ comfort and enjoyment.  Yes, it’s your day and the event definitely should exude your style and personality.  However, if your style and personality veers far from the norm, then at least give it a comfortable framework for more traditional guests to cling to. 

Guests – You are an invited guest and should be gracious in your acceptance.  Someone thought so much of you that they wanted to include you.  If you R.S.V.P. yes then you need to show up, be present and be joyous.  If you don’t like the way the event is set up because it’s not your style or you don’t think it’s “right” then suck it up, be present and be joyous.  This event isn’t about you.  If you’re having a bad time you can always vent to a friend about it later.  But don’t be a wet blanket while you’re there. Nobody wants a wet blanket at their party.

Let’s face it – we all have our “wedding war stories.”  I once found myself at a wedding that tapped a keg before the ceremony and the *meal* (the wedding was at dinnertime) was a veggie tray from Albertson’s.  Needless to say, I stopped for a real dinner on the way home.  The  point is, I sucked it up, was present and celebrated the wedding.  The only person that knows any different is the person I went with. (And now you.)  If you can’t do that for a couple of hours for a friend, stay home.

Remember.  This day isn’t about a party.  It’s about two people who are committing their lives to each other.  It’s just a few hours – make the most of it.

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